Shameless.
I was born a dreamer, a girl full of wonder.
I believed that EVERYTHING was possible.
Singing, dancing, storytelling and choreographing were all the ways I LOVED to express my aliveness.
I remember one day, around the age of 10, I was offering my friends a short performance of something. I don’t recall all the details (not a mistake I’m sure). But what I do remember is that one of them exclaimed in a mocking manner: “You are such a show-off!”. It felt like a swift punch to the gut and a slap in the face as if to say “How dare you take up all this attention!”.
No one else said anything. I was left there dumbfounded. “What do you mean?”, I thought. I was just being me, having fun, and expressing myself. It was extremely painful and embarrassing. I was shamed for taking “too much” space, too much attention.
The impact was instant and I understood that this meant that in order to stay SAFE I had to never ever abandon myself to my full self-expression.
Stay small, sweet and let others take the lead.
In this moment I allowed shame to rob me of all the rainbows of possibilities of becoming a successful performer — because the moment I would get close to a breakthrough, or get offered an opportunity to shine I would self sabotage or hold back out of terror.
I still very much experience terror when I start to taking up space, speaking my truth and expressing myself fully — especially if I am performing, teaching or sharing anything personal and vulnerable on social media. But with the tools I have acquired and the personal work I have done, I’ve gained much awareness which has in turn offered me CHOICE. The choice to feel the fear and do it anyway.
When we learn about ourselves we acquire freedom to CHOOSE
Shame is an experience.
The terror that lies behind it is an emotion.
The moment I allow the e-motion — “energy in motion” to move, I set myself free.
I am no longer frozen, or holding myself back. I welcome myself back to myself — EMBODY.
And then possibility comes flooding back.
I am shameless.
